Last year was not very kind to me, but this year, I refuse to dwell on those times in my life where things didn't go so well. I will instead be thankful for the things that worked in my favor. My wonderful new apartment, my beautiful god son, another year with my wonderful boyfriend, and even my crappy full time job, because after all, a job is a job in these trying economical times...I even got my very first Ipod in 2009...about damn time I might add.

This year will be better, because it simply has to be. This very day I decree that 2010 will be THE year of the decade. No matter what happens, I am determined to have a great year...that's not even a resolution, it's just fact. Even starting the new year off with a car accident, I still didn't let it ruin my opinion of how things will be. Bad things happen, it's our job to make them into good things, and if we cannot do that, then we must simply look past them, and let them ruin someone elses life. I control how things effect my mood, and this year I won't let things get me down...or at the very least I'll try. I know I take things too seriously, and I am trying to work on that. I also don't enjoy things for what they are, and I'm always trying to change them into what I want, and I really need to stop and just be happy. If I want to lose a couple pounds it should be for me and because I want to be healthy, not because someone thinks I'm fat. If someone has something mean to say, I should just take it in stride, and not give a damn. This is MY year, in so many more ways than one...

So in my last post I was worried about breaking down, but I survived...and it was easier than I had imagined.

I think it helps that I have such a wonderful boyfriend to help me through things. He's always been there for me,

even when I'm sure he would rather be elsewhere. He has made my last 2 and half years the best of my left. The

greatest part is I know it only gets better everyday...even when we fight I still love him more than anything.

Somedays I just wish I could show him how much I love him, and how amazing he is. Without him I think I'd still

be too far in to my grief to think straight. I know that in the years to come things will be harder, but I also know

that the bad times will reap their own rewards. Before him I hadn't ever wanted to grow old...I didn't want to

become weak and wrinkled, but now forever seems like it won't be enough time to spend with him. My life is not

what I had imagined, but then who's is...and I had never hoped for anything in specific so the way things have

turned out has not disappointed me one bit. If tomorrow I learned that we had hours left to live, I would spend 

them holding him close, and telling him how much he has meant to me. I may be young, but I have already set

my eyes upon my goal, and they shall not be redirected....forever isn't too much to ask for, is it?

That was a long time with no internet...but now I'm back!

yay

So...yeah work still sucks,

I got cable and internet,

and my apartment is still great.

Thats really about it.